It is already Sunday! You know what that means. Affirmations and journal prompts. Let’s get started.

My last affirmation was “I am in charge of how I feel; today, I am choosing to trust”. It was the perfect affirmation for the time. Easing into trusting again is like easing into a bath that is a few degrees too hot. I had to get in one inch at a time. But letting myself trust my own judgment, as well as others that have come into my life recently, has been so rewarding. I feel more open and loving toward everyone in my life now, and less hesitant to speak my mind or make a choice. It’s so freeing! Yes, it was nerve-wracking at first, but breathing exercises to calm my anxiety and press forward helped so much.

If you didn’t know, I got stung by a jellyfish on September 11th during my mental health break. I got a big infection as it was healing, and it was painful and hot. It spread all the way down to my left wrist, and I was stung just under my armpit. I had to trust my judgement and decide when to go to the doctor and ER. I’m super nervous about the coronavirus so I’ve been avoiding going to hospitals as much as I can. But I finally had to trust my judgement, nut up, and make the choice to go. It was not fun! It resulted in a couple of shots in my butt (that was a first), IV’s of antibiotics, and oral antibiotics and steroids. I was not a happy camper, but I’m glad I decided to go.

Gratitude for the past week

My favorite part of the past week… was getting to spend the week by myself! I love me some alone time.  My dad’s out of town, so I have the whole house to myself. It’s an introvert’s paradise at home. That means terrible karaoke, dancing awfully in the living room, and more bike rides for exercise.

Someone I was grateful for this past week… was my buddy that visited from Philadelphia. We met at EDC Orlando last year and stayed in touch. He is one of the best people I have ever met. Kind, caring, and supportive. All the best qualities a person can have. We had a blast. Was I nervous? Yeah. It’s been a long time since I’ve hung out and spent the night with anyone, but I trusted him and myself, and we had so much fun! We stayed in the cutest AirBnB I have ever seen, made charcuterie boards, danced terribly in the living room, and laughed so much. I haven’t seen much of Orlando prior to last weekend thanks to the virus and my many hospitalizations, but we went on adventures all over. Florida opened its bars and restaurants last weekend, so I had to trust that social distancing and masks would work out for the best. It did! It was the best weekend I’ve had in a long time, and I was sad to see him go. ‘Til the next visit.

Something I did well this week… was not overreact when my jellyfish infection came back! Yeah, it came back even though I finished all my pills last weekend. Instead of getting frustrated, I decided to wait it out. And what do you know, the redness and swelling went down on its own.

Affirmations for the win!

My affirmation for the week ahead is:
 “I persist and persevere – no matter what.”

I already believe this, but I’m investing in my business more and more. I need to remind myself that I am powerful and dedicated every step of the way. There’s no time to be nervous. It’s time to be confident and secure in every decision I make. I’m not letting giving up on what I’ve already built cross my mind and concentrating even harder on what is yet to come! I haven’t been this excited about my future in a very long time.

I think I needed this affirmation while I was on my blogging hiatus and during the low points of late spring and early summer. Hopelessness, isolation, and unhappiness had me ready to give up, give in, and act on it several times. Luckily, I got the help I needed, and I continued to push myself to get better. One day, I had a magical moment where the pain lessened, and the hard work had all been worth it. It was a mixture of simultaneously finding the right combination of medications, having the right therapist, and going to a therapy group that was actually helpful. You would not believe how difficult it is to reach that trifecta of care when it comes to mental health. But when you find it? Miracles can happen.

If you are receiving mental health care, and maybe your medication is making you feel like a zombie or you’re not truly connecting to your therapist, do yourself a favor. Speak up.  I used to stick with therapists for way too long, because I was afraid of offending them. The truth is, your therapist would actually be proud of you for advocating for yourself and see that you are really trying to get better. They won’t get offended or upset! If your meds are not working or giving you some serious side effects, also speak up! The doctor’s main mission is to make your symptoms less impactful. They’re not going to be mad, either.

In the past week, I had to tell the doctor that my med, Seroquel, was causing me some serious weight gain. That’s a pretty normal side effect, because the med slows down the metabolism, raises blood sugar, and causes hunger pangs and cravings that I can’t even begin to describe. It’s like I fiend for food. You know how vampires have blood lust or thirst? I think this is as close as it gets for a human version. I don’t like cereal, partly because I don’t like milk. Dry cereal makes the roof of your mouth feel like you’ve chewed on small, sharp rocks. The other reason is that it’s full of sugar. But when I started Seroquel again, guess who also started eating fistful after fistful of dry Honey Nut Cheerios, going through a box every two days? This girl. I put on 20 pounds in a really short amount of time, because of the cereal and midnight snacking due to the cravings.

I mentioned this to the doctor, and he asked if I had tried any other meds in Seroquel’s category. Unfortunately, Seroquel is the one that my body tolerates best, so he and I came up with a solution of changing my diet and increasing exercise. He wasn’t upset or annoyed. He genuinely wanted me to be healthy. So, don’t be shy! Speak up about your health and advocate for yourself. You are the one that is in control of your treatment.

Journal Prompts

The theme for this week’s journal prompts will follow being persistent in life.

• If my goal for the future meets a roadblock, how will I react? Will I give up, modify and change my goal, or find a new way to achieve it?
• Why is it so important that I reach this goal? What does achievement of my goal represent?
• Who can I ask for support on the way to achieving my goal? How can they help me?

I hope that everyone has a great and safe week ahead! Be persistent and believe in yourself! Even if it takes years, you can do what you set your heart and mind to.

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